


not again

by miyura



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: M/M, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2020-07-31
Packaged: 2021-03-06 04:35:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25617448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/miyura/pseuds/miyura
Summary: Fukase, a grown-up with a jaded heart was set-uped by his best friend to meet his ex boyfriend who made his heart hard like a diamond.Will he give another chance?Or will he choose the guy who wiped his tears away in the midst of a heart break?
Relationships: Fukase/Kagamine Len
Comments: 1
Kudos: 9





	1. caution

Hey uhm, I just wanted to tell this as early as possible to avoid future misunderstanding; 

√ I have changed the vocaloid's last names and sometimes the name to avoid future conflicts. Also, one of the main reasons why I want to uh, publish a caution is to inform you guys about the characters. So I will really take my time to explain each and every details I changed. 

√ Here's the character lists and their new names/last names; 

• Len Kagamine  
>> Len Kagaoto, 22

• Fukase  
>> Fukase Shinomiya, 21

• Miku Hatsune  
>> Miku Hibiki, 21

• Arsloid  
>> Akira Kana, 23

• Rin Kagamine  
>> Rin Kagaoto, 22

• Luka Megurine  
>> Luka Morei, 23

• Kaito  
>> Kaito Taneda, 23

• Gakupo Kamui  
>> Gakupo Yuuki, 23

• Meiko  
>> Meiko Sasane, 24

• Una Otomachi  
>> Una Machiyama, 20

• Gumi  
>> Gumi Cruz, 21

• CUL  
>> Culleen Shinomiya, 21

√ That's all the charas I can think I can put in the story bc working with so many characters is mendokusai af lmao. I will update the list as soon as I introduce a new character. 

I hope this caution will clear some questions you have. And if you have questions, feel free to drop me a message. Any form of communication between me and another human being is considered as a festival for me lmao. 

Love y'all.


	2. prologue

Fukase didn't dare to move. He was frozen as he tries to process what his lover had just said.

**_'We're getting married.'_ **

Tears started to pour down from the redhead's eyes as he holds her hand. The hands he tried to protect for three years, the soft and gentle hands he knew was his until a slim hands of a woman slides in it. It was all gone. It was all hers now. The silver ring in her finger fitted perfectly with his masculine hands. It was too perfect, Fukase can't even object. All he did was cry. He didn't shout, or even ask for an explanation. He just cried. Hyperventilating until Len cleared his throat.

"Wow. Your friend's too happy for you, he even cried!" The woman excitedly said. "Don't worry. I'll take care of him! Thank you for what you've done as his friend up until now!" She then bowed to pay her respect.

Fukase wiped his never ending tears and forced words out of his mouth. "U-uhmm. Y-yeah. N-no, I mean, T-thank you." He tried to laugh but it came out as a weird noise and he hoped that the golden girl didn't notice it. "P-please take care of him."  
He then took all of his efforts and energy to face Len, who was facing down the whole time. "A-and you." When Len looked at his eyes, he spoke with so much sadness,

"I'm happy for you."

And with that, Fukase quickly gather his things and bid goodbye.

Fukase hoped and wished that Len would run after him. But when the taxi reached a mile away from the restaurant, he knew it was all over.

**_'It was all over.'_ **

-

It was then a pair of dark sweaty eyes opened. He stared at the ceiling for a couple of minutes before wiping his tears. 'Fucking hell was that.' he whispered as he dried his eyes.

It's been three eyes since that incident happened and until now, Fukase was getting dreams, no, nightmares of it. He was sure he already moved on from that but from time to time, it seems like the incident was haunting him like the ghost of the past. He shrugged it off in the end and get up. Fishing his phone from the study table beside his bed, he went out of his gigantic room and made his way to the kitchen for some cold milk.

After deciding to drink the milk straight from the carton, he unlocked his phone to be welcomed by a text from his best friend.

_"Yo. Let's hang @ blurred glass. We'll meet some friends from high school. Make sure ur coming other wise ill pick u up. Be ready at 7. see u. xoxo -miku"_

He raised his brow at the line 'some friends from high school' so as soon as he placed down the milk carton, he flew his fingers in his phone screen to write a reply.

_'High school? Did we go to high school?'_

Expecting a sarcastic reply from Miku, he returned the milk box to the ref and went back to his bedroom to spend his day off laying down. It's the first day off in two months, he plan not waste it.

His phone buzzed as he plopped back down in his bed.

_'Stfu. I'm gonna sure ull like it. :^) -miku'_

Fukase huffed as he types his reply.

_'I don't trust you.'_

_'I never trusts my self also. -m'_

_'Nevertheless, I won't come. I don't plan to waste my first day off in two months on stupid reunion.'_

_'Oh c'mon u shithead. Akira's coming. Dress nicely -m'_

Fukase sighed in defeat.

_'Do whatever you like.'_

As tired as he is. It didn't take a long time for him to drift off to sleep again. He deserve it. He deserve sleep. Taking a note that it's six in the morning, he wonders why Miku's awake at that time. Maybe she's drunk? Whatever it is, he doesn't want to bother himself to mind it. He completely let himself to be eaten by sleep.

-

_He loves him._

_He loves him more than himself._

_He holds his hands so tight when he had the chance._

_He didn't waste a goddamn second to tell him how much he means the world._

_He is his world._

_But although he is his world, he still needs a sun._

_He has a sun._

_And he chooses then sun over him._

_He chooses to live._

_He chose her._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wrote this at one am in a boring sleep over. I mean, who does sleep early when you can do crimes w friends than sleep?
> 
> Lmao just kidding. But srsly i am the only only one up and i need to distract my self.
> 
> I somewhat enjoy writing this bc I had to limit myself. I don't want to drop hints at prologue.
> 
> I hope y'all will stay up until the end. <3
> 
> Onto writing the first part hehe
> 
> Love y'all
> 
> @skypirates_ on twitter!!


	3. chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Miku forced Fukase to attend the party.

Fukase was waken up when someone pulled his warm and comfortable blanket out of him. Cold shivers came running into his spine. 

"For god's sake it's 14 degrees in here how the fuck are you surviving? Are you a polar bear?" A familiar voice of a woman echoed through his gigantic and cold-ass room. 

Fukase has still his eyes closed but he was aware that his annoying best friend was there already to probably pick him up. He groans as soon as coldness started to wrap his naked body. 

"Wake up, sleepyhead. Akira's at the living room." Miku said as she opened the curtains. 

Fukase visibly flinched name of the other man. 

Miku smirked. "Fucking hoe. This is really gonna be fun!" She excitedly hums as she opened his closet and throw clothes out. "Get dressed. We'll leave in ten minutes."

"Do I really need to attend?" Fukase barely said in between his pillows. 

"Of course! You're the star of the night!" She replied as she found the perfect clothes for him. 

Fukase sighed loudly as he forced himself to get up. "What the fuck was that?" He annoyingly said. 

"Language, baby." Miku threw the clothes on the sleepy Fukase. "Get dressed. I'll serve Akira some tea." and by that, Fukase got his personal space. 

He sighed as he stood up and put on the clothes Miku picked. He was wearing a denim jacket with white printed shirt inside, classic ripped jeans and a white high-cut converse shoes. He messed his hair a bit for some sexy look and spray some manly perfume. One word to describe his look; perfect. 

He made his way out as soon as he knew he has nothing to improve in his looks.

There in the living room, he found a Miku with the always sexy looking red head Akira. Akira shoot a smile when he realises that Fukase was already in the scene.

"You sure took your time." Miku placed down her cup of tea. 

Fukase rolled his eyes. "Well, sorry for the wait." 

"Good morning, sleepyhead." Akira's first words made Fukase blush a bit. 

"Yeah. Sorry." Fukase said as he tried to hide his reddish face.

"Before you both jump into each other, let's go. They shoot me a text saying that they're already there." Miku said while looking at her phone and standing up.

"Too early?" Akira commented then took care of the tea cups.

Miku shrugs. "Crowned as the early bird in Senior Prom, you don't question her time management." 

Fukase took a minute to process who was Miku's talking about. "... Oh! Luka!" 

"Morei-san, it is?" Akira said.

Miku nodded. "Faster. Can't miss her privacy." 

Fukase almost forgot that Miku has a huge crush on Luka ever since high school. And now that she's a super model, it adds up to the 'I want her' points. "Now, who's the hoe?" 

Miku just rolled her eyes. After putting down the tea cups on the sink, Fukase locked up his unit and made their way to the elevator. After pressing the parking button, Fukase asked. "Who's driving?"

Akira raised his keys. Fukase smirked. "Good old betty." He remarked. 

Fukase and Akira's relationship was close enough for Fukase to remember all of Akira's cars by just looking at its key. The sexy red head was a slut for cars. Mercedes, Lamborghini, Bentley, Rolls Royce, Cadillac, you name it, he has it. And Good old betty was the white Cadillac they used to drive when they decided to have the night out. 

When the elevator hits the parking lot, the three made their way to the elegant car parked at the right corner of the space.   
They loaded the car and made their way to the good old Blurred Glass. 

Fukase plugged his earphones on as soon as he settled himsef in the front seat. He didn't even bother to ask why he was seated there because Miku's attention was all over her phone since. But he knew it was one of her sick plans so he put up Panic! At The Disco so loud, because he is so much emo than you think he is. No one dared to talk while taking the road. First; they all have their own little worlds. Akira's eyes on the road. Fukase's on his emo phase. Miku's on phone, probably starting to hook up with Luka. Second; Miku and Akira knew what happened between that 'High School Friend' and Fukase. They're both conscious on Fukase's moves and words but luckily, it seems like it was all out of his mind. Like, he completely ignored the fact that he might meet HIM there. But he didn't give Miku the talk so they guess, it was alright to continue. It was three years ago after all. It's time to drink and forget. 

When they found a space to park, the three unloaded the vehicle. They made their way into the front desk and ask for the private room Luka reserved. When the clerk said the exact room, they didn't waste any minute and went directly to room 307.

While they're walking, Fukase felt uneasy. He felt something twisting his tummy. He felt he shouldn't be there. He tried to distract himself by fishing his phone and hopefully playing it until they reaches the room. Luckily, or rather, unfortunately, a text from his assistant flashed before his eyes. He didn't even notice that they're already walking inside the room when he reads the message. 

'Good day Sir, I hope I am not bothering your rest but it seems like Mr. Kiyoteru took the deal. What should I do next? Thank you very much.'

Fukase's eyes lightened up. He swiftly flew his fingers to write a reply. 

'Send him an email saying that I am inviting him at a dinner tomorrow. He choose the place. We'll talk about the deal. Thank you very much for your hard work, Shimoda.'

Fukase can't contain his happiness. He was unconsciously grinning ear to ear. I mean, the Internet Co. had accepted the 16% royalty for the new software they're going to develop! A great news indeed!

"Someone will get laid tonight~" A female voice brought him to reality. 

Fukase shoot his head up. "H-huh?" He said. Blush spreads in his face when he realises that he was already sitting the room, with all of his high school friends' eyes was on him and they all have the same meaningful smile. "O-oh. No. I-it's just uhm, the uhm, company I've been a slut for accepted the deal. Hehe. S-sorry." He apologises to everyone. The apologetic smile he was wearing was plastered with a slow frown. He was frozen all of a sudden. He was frozen when he realises who was in the opposite table. 

He froze when he realises that Len was there, sitting opposite to him.


	4. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fukase met him.

Len's heart almost fell out of his rib cage when Fukase entered the room. He is smiling. Smiling beautifully. He missed it. He missed the smile. He missed his voice. He missed everything into him. He missed Fukase so much. 

But what really made Len fall over was when Fukase sat opposite to him. Even without looking away from his phone, the red head took the seat opposite to him. The room was Japanese style and they're only sitting on a tatami mat. It takes so much effort to sit on the floor without paying attention, but it seems like it was possible to Fukase. 

Len didn't know what to feel. Mixed emotions make him more gayer but all he knew that he was anxious. He was anxious on what will Fukase's reaction if he sees him. How will Fukase react if the man that made him curse everyday was sitting across him, knees barely touching. 

How will Fukase handle it? 

"Somebody will get laid tonight~" Una laughingly said. 

Fukase shoot his head up and blushed when he realises that all of them was looking at him with the same meaningful smile. He tried to explain why then nervously laughed. But the smile was plastered by a slow frown when he finally realises that Len was on the same room, and not to mention, in front of him. 

Len tensed up as his sky blue orbs was starting at Fukase's crimson one. He didn't dare to speak nor the other. Una's loud and annoying laughter filled the room and thanks to that, Fukase broke the stare. The redhead looked down. Len took a deep breath and tried to distract himself by looking away and fake laughing. 

"Company?" Una started. "Oh yeah, How's Cul tho? Never heard of her since graduation." She continued then drank on the glass of beer in front of her. 

Pertaining to Fukase's cousin, Culleen, he forced himself to smile as he looked at the blue haired girl. "S-she's doing fine." He tried to calm himself down. "Playing in different bars in London, she's still this crazy bass player we know." When he believed that he has everything under control, Fukase took a sip from the beer in front of him. 

Una laughed. "Not changing, eh?" 

Fukase laughed. He tried his best not to look at Len. He didn't know if he was ready to face him or forgive him but all he knew was he got the answer from years ago. And that won't change Fukase's decision nor feelings. It was all over. Drink and forget, shall we? 

"So Len," Miku, on the other side who was conscious of the two, spoke. "How's Lily?" 

Gumi, who was pouring herself a drink, joined in. "Oh yeah, How's our golden girl?" 

Finding the right words to say, Len cleared his throat. He knew that Fukase's ears was all over the conversation because the topic's subject was none other than her wife. Yes, the girl he married three years ago. Miku sure knows how to play the game. "You haven't heard?" Len's voice came out as normal, which he thank god for. "We're divorced." He then took a sip from his glass beer. 

Everyone in the room gasped. Fukase's eyes widened as he looked at Len. Finding that the bloned was also looking at him, he quickly averted his gaze and composed himself. 

"Dude? How could you let that sweet girl away?" Gakupo said with total regret on his voice. 

"Let's just say..." Len eyed Fukase for a second then went back on Gakupo. "She's not who I really wanted." He finished off that earned a good 'Ohs' from his friends.

"But, you had a child right?" Kaito asked. "Allen, isn't?" 

"Oh yeah, How's Allen?" Luka asked. 

Fukase eyed Len when he heard the word 'Child'. He wasn't aware that he had a child on the woman. And knowing that made Len's decision clear to Fukase. 

"He's uhh... great." Len fidgeted. "Lily and I were taking turns. Last month was my turn but now, he's on Australia, on Lily." He then took a sip. 

"Australia?" Miku asked. 

"Yeah. She's working in her boyfriend's cafe there." Len said. 

Fukase almost choked on his drink. Len didn't failed to notice it so he silently laughed. 

"Wow... A lot really changed, eh?" Gumi said. 

Everyone agreed on the statement. 

"By the way," Len started to say. "Who's he? I never met him." he said, pointing to Akira. 

Miku smiled meaningfully that caught Fukase's attention. "Fukase-kun, mind introducing him?" she said in such meaningful voice. 

Fukase rolled his eyes then huffed. "He's Akira Kana. He also studied at V Acad. but one year a head of us." he explained. 

"Good evening. Sorry for barging in here at your reunion!" Akira bowed. 

Una whistles. "Total hottie alert!" She loudly whispered at Gumi.

Akira smiled as he noticed the two girls eying him. 

"Hey hey hey." Miku lightly slapped Una and Gumi's hands. "He's taken!" 

Fukase and Akira looled at Miku quizzically. They knew that she is up into something again but never knew what. They prepare themselves however.

"Gosh, Micchan!" Una exclaimed. "Who? Who? Who?" She excitedly asked. 

Miku smirked. "Shinomiya." 

Fukase drank straight the glass of beer, thinking that it was Cul that she was talking about. 

"Cul?" Gakupo asked. 

Miku raised her index finger and wiggled it. "Uh, uh." She said. "Our one and only Shinomiya Fukase!" She loudly declared that echoed through the room. 

Everyone in the room dropped their jaw with wide eyes. 

Fukase slammed the beer glass so hard after hearing it. "wHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK, HIBIKI?" He cursed. He can see from his peripheral vision that Len looked away with pained expression while trying to compose himself. Is that what Miku is planning the whole time? He wonders if he'll join Miku in her little game? 

"Language, baby." Miku winked. 

Akira cleared his throat as he try to compose himself. 

"oH MY GOD ARE YOU REAL WITH THAT?" Una exclaimed through her happiness. Considering her fujoshi side, she's surely happy about this. "pLEASE DO NOT LIE TO ME!" She slammed the table as she tried to get closer to Miku. "pLEASE!" 

"Unagichi, calm down." Gumi said as she tried to calm the excited blue haired girl. 

"Well you're suited with each other," Luka said. "... If I'm allowed to say that." 

"Yeah, they definitely look good at each other! Luka, you have a good eye!" Kaito commented. 

"Red is the color of love." Gakupo remarked. 

Miku laughed. "Woah guys calm down!" She crawled towards Fukase then wrapped her arms around his neck. "Let's just ask our cute shit for formal answer." 

Fukase, who's clearly irritated by what's happening, sighed heavily. "You guys are seriously believing on Miku's schemes, eh?"

"But she's your best friend!" Gumi said. "We never knew anything from your love life since after Miki. You're always hiding something from us so we thought that ykno, Micchan would know it!" She explained and everyone agreed with a chorus of 'yeah'.

Fukase scoffed. "Now y'all are interested in me." He laughed sarcastically. 

"See? You also changed. A lot." Gakupo said. "The way you speak, style and probably the way you think."

"We thought it was the effect of being a business leader but something really changed." Luka stated. 

Fukase laughed. But not that 'happy' laugh but that one who screams 'Great. Y'all are interested in me'. Their circle of friends wasn't that bad to him. They're actually really good so keeping from them the secret of Len and him being together kind of pains him off. But what's happening right now is not Fukase's cup of tea. He doesn't like being the center of the attention. Well, he couldn't disagree on them when they said that he changed. I mean, ask that bloned over there, shall you? 

Fukase untangled himself from Miku's arms then arranged his clothes. "I didn't." is all Fukase can manage. 

"Our relationship is still on the process. I don't want to force him for something that he has a trauma on. I can't be that bad." Akira explained that made Fukase choked on his own saliva.

Wide eyed, Fukase kicked Akira's side only to make him smile as if it was a playful one. "Akira!" he exclaimed. 

Oh yeah, this is what Miku means on her 'you are the star of the night'.

Fukase glared at Miku than back at Akira. He then shook his head in frustration. 

"Oh my god, Gumi, Please hold me. I SAID HOLD ME! THIS IS TOO CUTE. TOOOO CUUUUTEEE!!" Una exclaimed at she shove herself into the green haired girl. 

"Yes, yes Unagicchi, this is too cute. Calm down." Gumi said as she pats Una's head. Una seems to be in heaven with her expression with what she just discovered. Oh yeah, this is why Fukase and Len decided to keep their relationship with the others partly because of Una. 

Fukase just sighed then poured himself a drink. 

"Trauma?" Gumi asked, still patting Una's head. 

Fukase tensed up. He also saw Len in the corner of his eyes uncomfortably flinched. Shit, he cursed. 

"You see, our boy here experienced some tragedy in love," Miku explained that made Fukase shoot his head up in shock. 

"Huh? So that's why you've been drinking a lot lately, eh?" Kaito said then drank his beer. 

"He did?" Len asked in rather friendly tone with a hint of concern that shocked and irritated Fukase at the same time. 

Kaito nodded. "You see, Shino-chan's company kind of helped the company I've been working on to grow here in east. So it's like we still have a contact to each other after so many years and sure Shino-chan's a dude made of pheromones when he's professional, there are still times that he's going into meetings with bad hang over and sometimes, half drunk." Kaito explained half drunk. 

"Hey hey Kai-chan, it's not 'Half-drunk', he's actually drunk! Remember that one time where he drank coffee with the heater on? Because he said that his heart was frozen and he needs to melt the icecaps to let somebody in!" Miku laughed so hard, drunk. 

Everyone, excluding the blushing Fukase and expressionless Len, laughed. 

"Tell more!" Una said between her obnoxious laugh. 

Miku calmed herself down before speaking. "There was this time where he--” It wasn't a while when everyone was silenced when Fukase slammed the beer glass so hard it echoed through the room. 

Half-drunk, Fukase glared at Miku then stood up and left the room without saying anything. Yep, he's angry. 

Fukase made his way to the bathroom annoyed. Annoyed of his spinning sight, annoyed of Miku teasing him, annoyed of Len discovering that Fukase's so much in pain in the past few years. 

Fukase was annoyed, yet he wanted to cry. 

The thought of Len made him cry. Why did he had to meet him when he's not yet ready? Why did he miss his voice so much it ached every time he was speaking? Why did it hurts so much when he discovered he had a child? 

Why did Fukase still loves Len even after everything? 

Why? 

Fukase wiped his tears and composed himself before going out of the cubicle. A little water in the face could freshen him up, he thought. 

Fukase opened the cubicle door and what he saw next froze him in his stand. 

There, in the sink in front of Fukase's cubicle, is Len leaning with folded arms in chest and looking at Fukase like he's been waiting for the redhead to come out. 

Fukase though of escaping. He's not ready for this, he tought. So he planned to lock himself inside the cubicle until Len's out but just before he closed the door shut, Len made his move and helped himself in the cubicle. 

Fukase was now trapped inside the cubicle with the man that made his heart hard like a diamond after breaking it. The man that choses his company over him, so thus he had to marry a girl and left Fukase in the air hanging. 

The man that Fukase still loves even after everything. 

After three years, Fukase's face was only inch far from Len's. 

Shit, he cursed under his breath.


	5. chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Len is prepared to do anything.

Fukase found himself frozen under the ocean-blue gaze of Len. He cannot read it, which freaked him out. His heart is pounding so hard it's defeaning. His face was flustered by the mix of alcohol and that fact that Len's face was only inch away from his. He felt pathetic. 

But of course, he doesn't want for Len to see him like that. He's different now, he thought. 

Fukase glared at Len. “Move.” he strongly said despite his slightly trembling lips. 

Len just stared at him expressionless. It's starting to freak Fukase more so tried to shove him away but no avail. Len just leaned dangerously closer. 

“What do you want?!” Fukase exclaimed as irritation from before was creeping back at him and his tears was daring to fall. 

“You.” Len said in his sexy baritone voice that he knew, Fukase loved. “Again.” he whispered hotly into the redhead's ears. 

Fukase was shocked when he felt something cold and wet touches his earlobe. He then flushed so hard when he realised that Len's licking his ears, and it's dangerously going down into his neck. He felt a pang into his chest, he missed it. He honestly missed it. But everything's different now. Len has a child. Fukase can barely handle himself, but it's enough to prove that he can do it himself. He can live by himself without Len in his side. 

He wouldn't let him ruin his life again. 

No more, 

Not anymore, 

Not again. 

With a strong shove, Len was thrown and his back landed into the door so hard it surely made a loud noise. “You don't have any shame anymore, don't you?” Fukase started shaking. He felt his tears started to fall down but he didn't care.

Len looked at up at Fukase to see him crying, no, sobbing. Fukase was sobbing.   
He then realised what he had done. 

Len made a mistake, again. 

Fukase was crying because of him, again. 

He quickly got up into his feet then opened the cubicle door and stepped outside in a safe distance with a horrid face. 

“--m sorry.” Len barely mumbled while running his fingers through his bloned hair. “I'm so sorry. Shit! I'm freaking sorry!” He panicked. 

Before coming to the party, Len told himself that if ever fate would be nice and they'll meet again, he will be extremely careful. He was completely aware on what he had done and he seeks for forgiveness, and probably a thin line of hope; hope of being together with the only person he loved again. 

But in the end, he just lost into himself. 

He carelessly jumped into Fukase without even thinking and he cursed himself for that more than a million time he does in the last three years. 

Len screwed up, again. 

“I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean it! I-I just--” Len started but Fukase raised his hands, palm opened, gesturing him to halt from talking, which he did. 

Fukase kept his eyes close as he tried to wipe away his tears and calming himself down. He brought the hand he used to stop Len from talking to his hair and brushed it, like desperate to throw away the stress he'd been feeling. 

Len was silent, yet his voice wanted to come out and say his words of apology to Fukase, but he kept his mouth shut, waiting for the redhead to say something. 

“G-go away...” Fukase wasn't completely calm when he tried to force words out of his mouth, desperate for the bloned to leave him alone. 

Len shooked his head. “No, until you accept my apology.” He said firmly. “I-I never planned any of this, I swear! I-I n-never wanted to m-marry her--” 

“Shut up.” Fukase stated that shooked Len that halted him from talking. 

Len didn't know what to do. He wanted Fukase's apology yet, he couldn't also forgive himself for everything. He felt so pathetic. 

It was then when another redhead entered the bathroom. “Shinomiya!” He exclaimed as he saw Len and deduced that Fukase was probably on the opened stall in front of the bloned. 

Akira rushed through and found Fukase in mess. It sent irritation in his veins so he quickly grabbed Len's hem and prepared for a punch. 

“Akira, stop!” Fukase exclaimed just before Akira's fist was about to land at the other's face. “It's enough.”

“But, Shinomiya--” Akira objected but Fukase quickly cut him off. 

“I said enough! He didn't do anything so I-I'm fine.” Fukase said as he tried to compose himself. 

Akira furiously looked back at the expressionless Len. Yet, eyes was sparkling with something; sadness, maybe? Either way, Akira didn't care. He pushed Len back as he released the hold from the blond's hem. 

“Let's just go.” Fukase simply said as he made his way out of the cubicle. 

When Fukase was about to reach the door out, Len grabbed his hand that halted him from walking. 

“Please, I will do anything just to get you back.” Len sincerely said. Sadness in his eyes was visible yet Fukase doesn't want to let that break his heart. 

“Don't waste your efforts on someone who doesn't love you anymore.” Fukase simply said then grabbed his hand back and made his way out of the bathroom completely while Akira follows. 

The words Fukase dropped was like a bomb that shattered Len's world into pieces. He wanted to cry, yet there's no tears coming out. 

For the past three years, Len has nothing but regret in his heart. The sight of Fukase leaving the restaurant still gives him nightmares. He didn't want this. He didn't wish for all of this to happen, yet fate had played a huge playful trick on him. He cursed himself for the umpeteenth time as Fukase's words echoed through his mind. 

“I'm sorry... I'm so sorry...” Len whispered to nobody in particular as he runs his hand through his hair. The stress and the alcohol is not helping either that's why he helped himself out of the bathroom and went back to the party.

As he entered the room once again, Fukase and Akira wasn't there that irked Len. ‘Of course you scared him, dumbass. Why would they be here?’ he thought as he went back to his seat and gulped down the glassful of beer in front of him.

Len was about to join the conversation when he felt someone kicked his feet under the table. He searched of the owner of the feet when he noticed how Miku is staring... meaningfully at him.

“What?” Len asked as Miku went closer to him.

“Where's Fukase and Akira?” Miku almost whispered. Thanks to the merry chatter of their friends and Una's obnoxious laugh, Miku and Len can have their little privacy talk on the side.

“...” Len paused for a bit when he heard the names. “... I don't know? Why are you asking me, you're the one who brought them here.” Len answered that made Miku scratch her head.

“You know what? Let's talk outside.” Without waiting for Len's response, Miku made her way out of the room. Len the followed.

As the two reached the parking lot, Miku halted from walking and briefly faced Len with an annoyed face. 

“You really are as dense as fuck, eh?” Miku annoyingly blurted. “You never changed. You're still this guy who's waiting to be fetched by the your princess... or whatever the fuck you want them to be. Well guess what damsel in distress, nobody's coming for you because it's all your fault! Man up!” She then proceeded to go off and rant on his face.

With how Miku is acting, Len thought that it is the alcohol talking so he calmed himself down. “What do you mean?” He asked instead.

“What do you mean, my ass! You know what I'm talking about.” Miku answered in rather calm voice but the annoyed tone is still present.

“If you're talking about Fukase, then I blew it up.” Len confessed. “I made a mistake again. I know I was supposed to ask for his forgiveness yet I attacked him... My body moved faster than my brain and before I knew it, I droved him away... again...” One can visibly hear regret on Len's tone and it made Miku soften her gaze on him. 

Miku sighed. “Do you know why I forced Fukase to come here? It's his first day off in two months and yet I dragged his ass here and do you know why?” Miku asked and when Len remained silent, she continued. “It's because I'd like you two to come back together. ” she said like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Len took his time to process what Miku just said and when he did, he turned his shocked gaze at Miku. “... why?”

Miku ran his hand through her bangs in attempt to remove all the frustration that is building up on her. “Fuck. This is the alcohol talking so get ready.” Miku said before she goes off at Len. 

“I still love Fukase. Yeah, until today I'm still head over heels to that hoe. Until today, I'm still hoping that one day he'll hit his head on a concrete so hard that when he wakes up, his eyes are all just for me. I'm still dreaming about how our life would be perfect together. The wedding, our children, our retirement vacation... everything! I still love him, Len...” With her tears daring to fall and the help of alcohol, Miku confessed. “But... I knew that was not gonna happen at all...”

Len remained silent. He knew how Miku had feelings for Fukase yet he's innocent to that fact that she's been hurting all this time. 

Miku turned her back to Len in attempt to cease the tears that has been daring to fall from her eyes.

“Then why don't you just go after him? If you love him so much...” Len's mouth moved faster than his brain and the moment he realised it, he was taken aback. Len was ready to apologise when Miku faced him with a lonely expression that shuts him off.

“Because his tiny dumb heart still screams for your name...” Miku painfully mumbled slowly like she gets stabbed in the back with every word she's saying. 

Len just stared at the pained Miku. He wanted to pull her into a hug but he knows the other won't appreciate it. “I'm sorry you have to suffer like this...” he said after a period of silence.

Miku abruptly shook his head to disagree. “No, no. Don't feel pity on me. I've gotten used to it.” She joked but it all came out weird, which made her curse herself. 

“Miku, If there's anything I can do...” Len offered. The only thing Len can do now is to offer support to Miku.

Len considered Miku as his older sister. Ever since their parents died, Miku's always there for the both of them. She gave them company, comfort, and an older sister they can turn to and ask for help anytime. He values Miku so much that when he realised she's hurting because of him, he's ready to do anything just to make her happy again. Even if it means giving up on Fukase for her.

Miku nodded. “Yep... Actually, there's only one thing you can do right now.”

“Anything. Just tell me...” Len prepared himself for the worst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i update veeery slowly but pls do pester me for the next chapter on twitter @skypirates_


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